What is Coaching?

Since becoming a coach, I’ve discovered that a lot of people think they know what coaching is even though they’ve never experienced it. So I put this little primer together to explain a few things about it.

What Coaching is Not

Coaching is NOT what you heard growing up:

“Go clean your room,”
“Get your homework done,”
“Be home by curfew or you’re grounded.”

It’s not what teachers said to you:

“You could get an ‘A’ if you’d just apply yourself.”

It’s not what the music teacher or sports coach said to you:

“If you’d just practice more, you’d be great.”

Many people think these antiquated remonstrations are what coaching is.

Then there are these other misconceptions about coaching:

Mr. McGuire: “I just want to say one word to you … just one word.”
Ben: “Yes, sir.”
Mr. McGuire: “Are you listening?”
Ben: “Yes, sir. I am.”
Mr. McGuire: “Plastics.”

Indian Chief who says, “Listen to the coyote wisdom.”
The stockbroker who says “Buy gold.”
The sensai who says “Take the pebble, Grasshopper.”

We associate coaching with giving advice.

Everyday I meet people who want to be coaches because they think they’ll get to dole out advice unreservedly. Wouldn’t that be fun? Sort of like Lucy in the comic strip “Peanuts” sitting in her booth with the sign: “Advice 5-cents.” You could be the backseat driver for someone’s whole life. “Turn left, turn right, make a u-turn.” Bwahahahaha, such power.

Here’s the astonishing thing: the best coaches don’t give advice. Not a drop. Really.

Coaching is not therapy.
Therapy identifies what went wrong in your past and fixes it.
Coaching identifies where you want to be in the future, and gets you there.

What Coaching Is

The method of coaching I’ve been trained in is called “co-active.” What that means is that you (the client) and I (the coach) are working together in a partnership to explore the issues you’re facing. Together, we work out what to do, and you feel empowered to act, since you were involved in the decision-making process. It’s like having your own private self-help workshop.

Some people are leery of engaging a coach since they have some provate, personal issues to discuss. I operate under a strict code of ethics — everything you say to me is held in confidence. Our sessions are one-on-one, usually on the phone, so you can be in the comfort of your own environment.

Coaching is a partnership; a dialog; a form of maieutics (empirical, evidence-based; NCRW? (“normal”))

Coaching is a regulated profession, with the International Coach Federation providing ethical guidelines and levels of credentials. Just as you would seek a CPA to do your taxes, you would find an ACC, PCC, or MCC to coach your life.

Coaches ask questions — not “did you wash behind your ears?” kinds of questions, but open-ended questions like, “What do you need to be happy?” “How do you want your life to be?” “What do you have to change in order to get your life back on track?” The kinds of big questions nobody seems to ASK, because they’re too busy telling you what you should do; should want; should have; should be.

Coaches use structures to help establish your life direction — things like values tools, coactive imagination, perspectives.

Coaches create accountability, so you have to answer to another person.

A coach is your best friend; your cheerleader; always there with words of encouragement; always available as a sounding board.

Coaching can take on different forms, according to your needs. Do you want help with you general life direction, your career, your relationship? I can help with any of these.